A Sense of Wonder: A note from Executive Director Stephanie Sheler

I talk to myself. Sometimes it’s out loud:

• Look at all these emails!
• I need chocolate.
• Where is my phone?

Sometimes it’s inside my head.

• This is overwhelming.
• I don’t know what to do.
• What if I fail?

My five-year-old nephew Oscar talks to himself too. I’ve noticed the childlike vulnerability in what he says aloud. In the past few months, I’ve heard him say:

• “I’m a great hiker” after a walk with his family.
• “I’m so gentle” while petting a baby goat at the farm.
• “I’m strong” as he hangs from the jungle gym.

Listening to Oscar’s self-messages got me thinking: I wonder what children in foster care say to themselves, either aloud or inside their heads.

Stop. Think for a minute. Wonder. What self-messages might children in foster care play on repeat?

• This is all my fault.
• I wish I never told anyone.
• I hate it here.
• I hate everyone.
• I hate myself.
• I don’t ever want to go home.
• I can’t wait to go home.

It’s a grave mistake to assume that removing a child from an abusive situation fixes everything. Foster care causes trauma too. Children leave behind everything that is familiar. They are often separated from siblings. They often change foster homes and schools and therapists. In fact, children in foster care live in complete uncertainty, with no control over what happens next.

For these reasons, each child is surrounded by a team of professionals working diligently to ensure their well-being. Those people include the judge, the child’s attorney, and the foster care caseworker. Sometimes, however, these professionals request the support of a community member to serve as a court appointed special advocate, or CASA, for the child.

CASAs are well-trained volunteers supervised by a staff person who do their best work when they have a posture of wonder. They ask questions like:

• What happened to this child?
• What does this child want and need?
• How can I advocate for the child’s best interests?

CASA volunteers aren’t the only people who need to be curious. We all do. Let’s start asking ourselves the harder questions, either in our own heads or out loud in the public spaces.

• What causes generational trauma?
• How can our neighborhood institutions support parents?
• What systems in our county need to change?
• How can we create a community where all children and families flourish?

A sense of wonder could change everything for hurting families and children. I wonder what you can do?

This story is featured in the Fall 2024 edition of CASA Connect, CASA of Kent County’s quarterly newsletter. Click here to view a pdf version of this newsletter.